Permission to Pursue

Why the life that's right for you isn't always the one that makes the most sense on paper.

Why don't we trust ourselves when we already know the right next step, even if on paper it isn't the most logical or seemingly sensible choice?

Why do we tell ourselves that we should go for the next job that fits all our criteria when, in our heart of hearts, we're utterly unenthused by the prospect? Why, when we feel like this, do we even have the battle with ourselves? We start telling ourselves we should apply for the position when, in reality, we just don't want to at all.

It always comes back to the little, subtle changes in the language we use with ourselves. Is it a should, or is it a could?

I think once we rephrase everything from should to could, it becomes an option rather than something we've somehow made obligatory. Perhaps changing the language isn't the goal in itself. Perhaps it's simply a way of creating enough space to hear our own voice again.

I also think we should question what is driving our decisions. Is it panic or a knee-jerk reaction? Or is it something we've thought through and are consciously choosing to pursue?

I think when we're making decisions, we somehow shrink our existing worlds and forget that there are countless ways to live a life that exist outside of our current stratosphere. Instead of seeing a landscape full of possibilities, we see a narrow corridor with only two or three doors. We convince ourselves that if we don't walk through one of them, we'll be left with nothing.

But life has a habit of presenting opportunities we couldn't possibly have planned. The trouble is, we stop looking because we're too busy convincing ourselves these few visible options are all there is. Maybe the hardest part isn't finding the right path. Maybe it's trusting that there are more paths than the ones we can currently see.

Maybe that's why we have these internal battles in the first place. We convince ourselves there is only one sensible path when, in reality, there are countless versions of a good life waiting beyond the limits we've unknowingly placed on ourselves.

Perhaps the challenge isn't learning how to make better decisions. Perhaps it's learning to trust ourselves enough to believe that life isn't limited to the handful of options we can currently see.

I sometimes wonder whether many of our "shoulds" are even our own. Are they ours, or have they been inherited from parents, teachers, colleagues, or society's idea of what success looks like? We spend so much time trying to make the sensible decision that we rarely stop to ask whether it's actually the right decision for us.

The best opportunities I've had in life weren't ones I could have planned. They came from saying yes to something that simply felt right, even if I couldn't fully explain why at the time. Looking back, the decisions that shaped my life weren't always the ones that made the most sense on paper—they were the ones that felt the most honest.

Maybe that's the real challenge. Not making the perfect decision, but having enough faith in ourselves to choose the path that feels aligned, even when we can't justify it to everyone else.

So perhaps the next time you catch yourself saying, "I should...", pause for just a moment and ask a different question.

Could I?

Do I actually want to?

And if the answer is already there, do I trust myself enough to listen?

Because perhaps that's what all of this really comes down to. Not making perfect decisions, but giving ourselves permission to pursue the life that feels true to us—even when we can't yet explain why.