The Energy Conundrum

I believe that most of us are somewhere in the middle of the spectrum when it comes to social energy. While some people lean more towards introversion and others more towards extroversion, many of us need a balance of both. We need time with people, but we also need time without people, or at least time with fewer people and fewer social demands.

What I think we often overlook is the role that work plays in this balance.

When people think about whether they are introverted or extroverted, they tend to focus on what they do outside of work. They look at whether they enjoy socialising, whether they like going out, or whether they prefer a quiet evening at home. But work takes up a huge portion of our lives, and the social demands of our jobs can have a significant impact on our overall social energy.

If we look at our week as a whole, we can start to see this more clearly. How many days do we spend at work? What does that work involve? For many people, work means being around others all day, talking, collaborating, helping customers, attending meetings, answering calls, or simply existing in a busy social environment.

Then we look at our days off. If those days are also filled with social activities, family commitments, gatherings, and being around lots of people, we can begin to realise that perhaps six out of seven days of the week are actually quite extroverted.

When we view things through that lens, it becomes easier to understand why we sometimes feel out of balance.

It may not be that we dislike people. It may not even be that we are particularly introverted. It could simply be that we have been spending far more social energy than we realise and have not had enough opportunity to restore it.

Of course, this is not always something that can be easily changed. The social demands of work are often outside of our control. However, having an awareness of the balance can be useful in itself.

Sometimes we can find ourselves wondering why we feel drained, why we need more time alone, or why we are not as enthusiastic about social plans as we think we should be. Yet when we step back and look at the bigger picture, we may discover that our week is already heavily weighted towards social interaction.

Perhaps understanding our social energy is less about deciding whether we are introverts or extroverts and more about recognising the balance between time spent with people and time spent away from them.

By becoming aware of that balance, we may gain a better understanding of why we feel the way we do and why, at times, our social energy can feel depleted even when we genuinely enjoy being around others